SING LIKE A BLOKE WORKSHOPS (for Blokes of All Genders)

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SING LIKE A BLOKE WORKSHOPS  (for Blokes of All Genders)
Spooky Men’s Chorale

Spooky Men Tool Photo

Spooky Men Tool Photo

Stephen Taberner and his trusted bunch of henchmen from the Spooky Men’s Chorale share secrets from the Spooky lexicon, including getting in touch with your inner 22 stone tribal chieftain, how to sob like a man, and why Georgians hardly open their mouths when they sing.

You’ll also learn a couple of bits of pointlessly grandiose music from the Georgian/Spooky repertoire. And they are always happy to field questions on beard manicuring, safe polishing of tools, and how to dispose of mastodon carcasses thoughtfully.

Contact:

Richard Bates, Spook Wrangler;
e: <richardbates@aapt.net.au> ph: 02 44435020 sms: 0449700702

THE SPOOKY MEN’S CHORALE – “Beyond the Sandstone Curtain Tour”

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THE SPOOKY MEN’S CHORALE

“Beyond the Sandstone Curtain Tour”

May 2012: Mudgee, Dubbo, Forbes, Young, Wagga Wagga, Canowindra, Orange

Genial buffoonery and immaculate, testosterone drenched vocals define the Spooky Men’s Chorale, a ruthless bunch of larrikins based in the Blue Mountains and led by Stephen Taberner. Their stated ambition is to make women weep, small children quail, and insurance salesmen vaguely aware that somewhere there is a whole world they’ve never experienced.

With a sound as warm and grainy as a slab of teak, Spookmeister Taberner steers his hand-picked choral assault force like the entertainment corps of the Visigothic army, down from their hideout deep in the mountains, where manners are short and stories are tall, across the limitless, whistling steppes of ancient Georgian table songs, tawdry anthems and the odd ballad of terrifying beauty.

They have performed to general delirium at concerts across the country, most major Australian festivals, conquered the inner sanctums of the ABC, and also pillaged the UK to devastating effect on 4 tours culminating in the hugely successful 2011 sell out of a 2 month invasion where they routed folk festivals and monstered hapless townsfolk across the nation.

Established on the twin pillars of grand foolishness and the quest for the perfect subwoofer-rattling boofchord, the Spooky Men seek to commentate on the absurdity and grandeur of the modern male, armed only with their harmonious voices, pointless grandiosity, a sly collection of hats and a staggering diversity of facial hair configurations.

Their studied deadpan is no act: like most blokes, they’ve only got the faintest idea of what’s going on.

John ‘Bomber’ Evans Saves Choir

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Yesterday in Belfast John Evans, Dave Mundy and Kevin Foley hired a cab and driver/commentator to look closely at the areas of ‘The Troubles’. We walked around the key areas especially Shankill Road and the street of the worst violence inappropriately named Bombay Road.

Whilst David, Kevin and John were standing on the footpath with their backs to the traffic and discussing one of the bombing incidents an ice-cream van (Mr Whippie type) rounded the corner and blasted out its’ horn quite loudly. John nearly jumped out of his skin and seemed to be set to hit the pavement when he saw Dave and Kevin and the cab driver almost paralytic with laughter.

The cab driver lost it completely and despite his attempts over several minutes was unable to continue, dissolving into fits of laughter (along with Dave and Kevin) every time he attempted to continue his commentary.

The sight of John getting ready to hit the pavement and the other 3 paralytic with laughter must have been a scene not witnessed in Bombay Road for many years before the troubles began.

Half an hour later when he finished the tour the cab driver (who by this time was still dissolving into uncontrollable laughter) agreed the incident would be an amusing point in his future commentaries.

In recogntion of his effort the choir has unanimously dubbed John Evans ‘Bombay Evans’.

Is this the solution to ‘The Troubles’? Just send John ‘Bombay’ Evans they will not have the energy for anything else!

Edinburgh Ghosts, the Underground Vaults and Torture

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Ghosts, the Underground Vaults and Torture!!

What has this got to with the choir??   Well, nothing, it’s just that Leonie Lihou wanted thrills and adventure beyond keyboards and castles, cathedrals and abbeys, green grass and stone fences (although there is a rumor going around she has developed a fetish for stone fences!). 

Chris, Laurie, Leonie and Leanne in the underground vaults

So she led a brave group of adventurers on an expedition to Edinburgh’s secret historic underground vaults, ghosts, witchcraft and sites of past torture.  Chris and Brian, Leanne (page-turner extraordinaire wanting further life experiences), Laurie, Ellie, Mick, Ken and myself followed in trepidation.  We met in a dark alley at the steps of an ancient cathedral off the Royal mile at 8pm. Here we witnessed re-enactments of ancient rituals and witchcraft and how suspicious and frightened subjects were wrongly accused and burnt at the stake or hands nailed to their knees!  Ahaar !!!

Now this one I like – NOT!  Back a hundred years or more, sewerage and household wastes were literally disposed of by tossing from upper floors onto the streets below.  This occurred at 10 o’clock at night and every one became VERY familiar with the catch-cry “Guard de lou”  or something like that which meant keep clear shit and direr following!!  Don’t come home from the pub drunk at 10pm!  What about the streets?  Ummm!  No wonder disease, the plague, black death etc were rife around these times.

Brian, Learne, Chris and Leonie daring the forbidden rock circle!! Cursed!!!

 

 The night got even more exciting with a trip to the underground vaults.  Following a little dark alley and dingy steps, we emerged into underground passageways and vaults.  We were told these were originally constructed for storage and security of food and wares from theft and water damage.  But they have since become haunted with frequent sightings and contacts with ghosts from the past – the subtle tugging on dresses, a hand running across faces and shoulders, chattering and mutterings etc.  In one of these rooms, a hundred or more people perished centuries ago from a raging fire above when they were asphyxiated and cooked, not to mention the occasional murder and torturing!!  It was quiet dark down here with the occasional candle.  Of course it was a bit of a set-up.  As we were all gathered in the darkest of dark vaults – women on one side, men on the other –one of the tour guides mates leapt screaming from the shadows past our doorway.  Did the girls scream!! 

Axeman Laurrie be-heading the convicted Learne - no more page-turning :(

 
The night ended with the re-enactment of a public be-heading – Leanne the victim and Laurie the axe man (frighteningly real! – what goes on down at The Rock Laurrie??) – off…off…off…chanted the crowd (see photo).

Visit to Linlithgow and the Linlithgow Rugby Club Male Choir (LRCMQ).

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Our Wagga choir arriving at Linlithgow Rugby Clubhouse

Linlithgow is situated about an hours’ drive west of Edinburgh.   We boarded the bus at 6.00pm for a joint concert and social get-together with the LRCMQ. 
This was certainly the most spectacular and warmest of all welcomes, arriving there to the echoing, drowning sounds of classic Scottish bag pipes, a line of choir member donning their kilts, tassels and associated attire and ending with a solitary piper on the steps! How good is that? 

Linlithgow Rugby Club Male Choir performing at our joint concert

 

  Needless to say, the concert was a great success with both choirs performing to their best, even though we were the more animated and entertaining (no personal bias)!  Of all the choirs we had met on tour, LRCMQ had to be the most similar in terms of background and singing ability.  Dinner was chicken and haggis accompanied with a type of potato bake. Admit it, the haggis wasn’t too bad! A great night of socialising, singing, eating and drinking, we all arrive back at the Point Hotel about 1am very tired but merry.

Edinburgh Castle

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Tour of Edinburgh Castle

Edinburgh Castle

Edinburgh, so much history and architecture and with only two days, where do you start?  Not on the internet, skyping or sorting photos and email like I did!  I have to say Europe has been more difficult to get internet access than I thought.   Anyway it is raining and good to catch up with friends and family back home.

Back to Edinburgh – this would have to be one of the most interesting and historic of all cites.  And our hotel “The Point” was right at the SW base with views from the bar!  At 9am, 30 of us met as a group and walked to the Castle in the rain for a tour.  There are beautiful old narrow cobbled streets running throughout the city centre – you could linger here for ages.  Sturdy 300-400 year old stone-block buildings crowd each side, rising 4-6 stories and carrying a maze of chimney stacks.  These all seem to converge on “The Royal Mile” running up to the front of the castle at the site of the world-famous Military Tattoo.  “Get a move on” says Dave “Bob” Mundy.  Woops, focus on the tour!!  Q? – “What’s happening tomorrow?”.  Dave  – “Read your email !”  Fair enough!

Allan Hull and Eric A next to MONS MEG

The castle is in excellent and working condition, and includes such gems as St Margaret’s  Chapel, built in 1060 and still used, Mons Meg, a giant medieval cannon built in 1457 and Scotland’s Crown Jewels.

Margaret Love standing in front of St Margaret's Chapel

The best views of the castle can be had from the northern side along Princess Street Gardens.

 

 

 

 

 

Brian Buckley, convicted and sentenced for malicious accusations and unjust awards given to fellow choir members in Barrow. Brian is currently serving a life sentence in the dungeons of Edinburgh Castle. Confined to bread, water and grits, he is looking forward to visits by fellow choir members in three years time.

 

 

 

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